Scariest Places on Earth
by cheri1
Summary: 10/Rose with Donna, Martha, Jack and the Master. The Doctor and his friends volunteer to spend a night at Chillingham Castle for the TV show, Scariest Places on Earth. But while they explore the castle, the Master is inside with them following the Doctor.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: There used to be this show on TV called Scariest Places on Earth that was hosted by Linda Blair (Regan in The Exorcist) and narrated by Zelda Rubinson (Tangina in Poltergeist). They showed different scary places but every other show they had a group of five people, usually a family, go in and explore haunted places and spend the night inside them without wussing out. The person conducting these was Alan Robson, a DJ who has a radio show in England. Alan was supposedly a paranormal expert and before the family went inside, he'd intimidate them and taunt them for being scared and would be very dramatic and a bit over the top. A friend and I used to make fun of him and even wrote some fanfiction crossovers with Scariest Places. I think I did Monty Python and Fleetwood Mac and my friend did Stargate SG-1. Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to do one for Doctor Who for Halloween. This is a crack fic and isn't canon since I'm just grouping together five DW characters that I think would be interesting to watch if this were filmed for television. Hope you enjoy it!

Chapter One

"I'm Linda Blair and tonight on Scariest Places on Earth, five friends are daring to spend the night in Chillingham Castle in Northumberland. One of the most horrifying castles on Earth. Will they be able to survive the night without…dying of fright? We join Alan Robson outside Chillingham Castle to await their arrival.

Alan Robson stood outside Chillingham Castle waiting for the van to arrive that would bring the five friends to Chillingham Castle. It was just after dark and a huge bonfire lit up the area. Then he heard the sound of a car coming down the dirt driveway and watched as the passenger van pulled up. He walked to it while a male driver got out, walked around and opened the side door.

"This is daft," the Tenth Doctor said, climbing out of the van, "why are we even here? There's no such thing as ghosts."

"Oh, come on, Doctor," Rose said, climbing out after him, "just play along, this'll be fun."

"Oh yeah," Jack said as he climbed out after her. "Drafty castle, lots of bats and rats and we get to stumble around in the dark. Whee!"

"Come on, Jack, It'll be fun, just play along," Martha said as she climbed out with Donna.

"I just hope I don't stumble and fall in here," Donna said, gesturing to the castle. "Or I'll be suing the pants off these people."

The Doctor noticed Alan Robson and extended his hand towards him.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor," he said, walking towards him.

Alan didn't shake his hand, only gave him an intense look while the Doctor returned it with a confused look. He looked down at his hand.

"My hands are clean, I washed up before we came here," he said.

"You do not believe in…spirit," he said in an ominous tone of voice.

"Oh? Is it that obvious?" the Doctor said while his friends came up behind him. "Yeah, I don't. I think everything can be explained scientifically. I'm only here because this lot dared me to go. I'm not expecting to see anything and…what are you doing?" he said when people walked up to them and began to strap harnesses on their bodies.

"These are cameras and lights, they will record your faces while you explore," Alan said to him.

"Shouldn't they be pointing out so they can record the ghosts?" Jack said before he caught a glimpse of the young man with blonde hair strapping his camera to him. "Well, hello there, Jack Harkness and you are…"

"Jack, leave the technicians alone," the Doctor yelled over his shoulder. "Sorry, he loves to flirt with random people," he added to Alan.

"You…have come here tonight because you are hoping to find spirit," Alan said, addressing everyone.

"No, actually I just said I was here on a dare. I hope to find nothing," the Doctor said, raising his finger in the air.

"Doctor, for Christ's sake, play along," Rose said, rolling her eyes.

"Fine, fine…eeek, I'm afraid!" the Doctor said in a monotone voice. "Oh, what horrors await me tonight, eek, eek."

Rose glanced at Martha and Donna and the three of them rolled their eyes. Donna turned her head back and was startled when she saw Alan in front of her staring at her intently.

"You…do not believe in spirit," he said to her.

"Um…probably not, but I do believe in mouthwash and you need some, mate, because your breath stinks," Donna said, backing up a few paces.

"Tonight, you will see spirit, you will believe," Alan said to Donna.

"And I will sue if I fall down in the dark and break my bones so just be aware of that," Donna said.

Alan moved to Martha.

"You…do not believe in spirit," he said to her.

"Ugh, Donna's right, you need a breath mint or something," Martha said, making a face.

"Tonight…you will believe," Alan said.

"I listened to Night Owls before and I don't remember him acting like Bela Lugosi," Martha said to Donna.

"Well, the radio show is popular which is good since I'll get lots of publicity and sympathy if I fall and become disabled," she replied.

Rose folded her arms over her chest and gave Robson a challenging look while the Doctor watched.

"You…are a believer," he said to her.

"Well, yeah, since I'm the one that thought this up," Rose said. "I've listened to Night Owls before, nice to meet ya."

Alan ignored that and Rose rolled her eyes when he moved towards Jack. The Doctor raised his eyebrow when he saw the lustful gleam in Jack's eye.

"You…do not believe," Alan said to Jack.

"Nope but hey, are you single? We could go to a pub and have a pint after this is all over. You could tell me some stories about working on Night Owls while we drink. How about it?"

Alan turned away without answering him and walked over to the bonfire.

"I suppose that was a no, Jack?" the Doctor said to him.

"He'll come around, I just have to turn on my charm. He's too busy trying to scare us at the moment," Jack said with a shrug.

While they listened to Robson describing the castle, someone moved in the darkness behind him. Unknown to everyone, the Master stood just outside the circle of light, his black hoodie helping to hide him. He smirked while he stared at the Doctor.

"So, out for a little night of fun, Doctor?" he muttered to himself while he kept his eyes on his adversary. "You won't think it's so fun when I get through with you."

"This castle has a history of death and torture," Alan was saying to them. "You must explore it all in your search for spirit, particularly…the torture chamber."

"Torture chamber, eh?" the Master muttered to himself. "I'd like to explore the Doctor's body in the torture chamber, Mister Melodramatic Human, can I do that?"

"Many people have been tortured and many died in here," Robson said, pacing in front of them. "This place was a killing machine. Do you think you're brave enough to spend the night in here?"

"If I do, can we have a pint in the morning?" Jack asked.

"Look," the Doctor said to Robson, "a lot of these so-called hauntings is imagination or natural noises that people mistake for spooky noises. You're trying to instill fear in us right now so we'll be more susceptible and start wildly imagining things that aren't there!"

"Before you go in, you must conduct a ritual to summon the spirits to you," Alan said. "You must each take a candle and a mirror and put a drop of chicken blood inside the candle while you read a summoning chant."

"Wait, is this voodoo?" Donna said. "They said nothing about voodoo. There are going to be actual lights in this place, yeah? I don't wanna fall down the stairs and join the ghosts in there!"

"Come with me and we'll conduct the ritual," Alan said, beckoning to them.

"Rose, why did you talk me into this," the Doctor muttered to her while they followed Robson.

"Because I thought it'd be fun," Rose said. "I saw the show on one of your cable channels and I thought we could do it for a laugh. Is it gonna kill ya to spend the night in a haunted castle?"

"No, it won't kill me, It'll bore me," the Doctor said. "And this ritual we have to do, are we going to kill the chicken to get at the blood because I like this suit. If we have to kill the chicken, I want something to cover this suit so it won't get blood on it."

"Christ, Doctor," Rose said, her eyes going skyward.

"Just ignore him, Rose, have a good time," Martha said as she and Donna passed by her.

"It's hard to have a good time with a bloody camera in my face," the Doctor said. "And what if I have to use the loo. Does this place have a loo and can I take the camera off when I use it because I don't want the world watching my face while I use the bog!"

"Oh, I don't know, I think I'd enjoy watching your straining to get that piece of shit into the toilet bowl face."

"Oh, shut up, Jack," the Doctor said while Jack sniggered.

While they were walking over to the ritual area, the Master was just outside the circle of light watching them with a sneer on his face.

"Just wait till you get inside the castle, Doctor," he muttered as he watched them. "You're gonna find more than ghosts waiting for you in there and it won't be pleasant, I guarantee it!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"This is stoooooopid!" the Doctor said softly as they followed Robson to the ritual space. "Do these people honestly think a ritual is gonna wake up the ghosts? I thought human beings had more sense than this."

"It's for television, play along," Rose hissed at him.

"Jack's on the verge of pouncing on Robson and ripping his clothes off, will that also be for television if he can't control his urges?" the Doctor said to her.

Robson assembled them around a small wooden altar. The altar had five candles on it, five mirrors and a beaker of blood with an eyedropper next to it. The Doctor gave the altar a dubious look. His dubious look shifted to a woman when she towards them. She was dressed in a purple rhinestone shirt, black skirt with black shoes and a purple bandana that was covering her hair. She stopped beside Robson and gazed at all of them.

"I am Jade Crystal, a clairvoyant. I'm here to help you with the ritual," she said. "We are going to recite an incantation to open a portal to the spirit world. The chant you are about to read is centuries old but I warn you, at the end of the night you must meet here again and read another chant which will send the ghosts back through the portal and close it. If you fail to do this, the portal will remain open. Does everyone understand this?"

"Will there be lights other than the ones by this camera?" Donna said, pointing to her harness. "Because I don't feel like stumbling around in the dark all night."

"You will be given flashlights," Jade said.

"That's all? We're not gonna have flaming torches at least? I better not fall or you'll regret it," Donna mumbled.

Jade walked around the group and handed out pieces of paper to them with a handwritten chant on it.

"Now, each of you must light a candle, put a drop of chicken blood inside it and hold the mirror up to the candle flame while you recite the chant. This will open the portal."

"Or make us look like fools," the Doctor muttered.

He watched while Rose walked up to a candle, used a lighter to light it and then used the eyedropper to put a drop of chicken blood inside the candle beside the flame. She then held up a small mirror close to the flame and picked up the piece of paper beside it. The Doctor rolled his eyes when she began to read the words on the paper.

"Spirits and ghosts, hear me now. Come through the portal from the other side to our realm. I summon thee with the light from a flame and a drop of blood. Come now and make yourselves known."

Martha giggled when the Doctor jerked his head around in a melodramatic fashion while he looked for the ghosts. He smiled at Martha when she playfully poked his shoulder and stepped up to the altar.

"Don't see anything," the Doctor muttered into Rose's ear when she came up beside him.

"We're all supposed to do it, then the portal will open," Rose said.

The Doctor gave her a "Yeah, right" look while Martha began to recite the chant. She finished and Donna walked up to the altar. While they were doing this, the Master was watching from the darkness and shaking his head.

"Humans, they're a strange lot," he muttered to himself. "Whatever possessed you to become buddy buddy with them, Doctor? They act like they're all fucked in the head if you ask me."

Finally, it was the Doctor's turn. Everyone watched while he walked up to the candle, lit it and put the drop of blood inside it. He then brought the mirror up to his face and pretended to preen for a moment before he put the mirror beside the flame. Then he picked up the piece of paper and cleared his throat loudly.

"You know, it's a little hard to read anything with this bloody camera on my chest," he said to Jade and Robson, "but here goes…TWINKY WINKY BONKY WONK, MANKA PANKA, PONK, PONK, PONK. DIPPITY DOO, FLIPPIDY FLY, OPEN THAT PORTAL AND LET THEM GHOSTS FLY!"

He slammed down the paper and the mirror on the table. Ignoring the glares of Jade and Robson, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked back to his friends who were trying not to laugh. On the outskirts the Master was giggling and silently applauding his adversary. The Doctor noticed the pissed off looks on their faces.

"Oh come on," he said. "As if a daft little chant is gonna bring the ghosts running. Give me a break."

"You may have trouble with the spirits tonight," Robson said ominously.

"Bring em on, I've fought worse," the Doctor said dismissively.

"He's a bit flamboyant sometimes," Rose said sheepishly when Jade and Robson continued to glare at him. "Don't mind him."

"I'm just saying the ghosts aren't gonna appear just because we drop chicken blood in a candle and read some silly poem Jade composed about two hours ago."

"Um…maybe we should go inside," Martha said quickly when she noticed Jade looked like she was seconds away from slapping the Doctor.

"Come along, Doc," Jack said, pulling on the Doctor's arm as they headed for the steps leading up to the massive front doors of Chillingham Castle.

Donna opened the doors of the castle and they stepped inside. On a nearby table they saw five large flashlights, some equipment and another piece of paper. They took the flashlights and Martha took the piece of paper.

"You have one night to explore Chillingham Castle," she read aloud as she held her torch light up to the paper. "Try to explore as many of the rooms as possible and use the equipment to try to verify the existence of spirit."

"Ghosts, they're ghosts," Jack said. "Not spirit. Spirit sounds so goofy."

"The whole bleedin' thing is goofy, why should it matter what they call the undead?" the Doctor said. "Sorry, I'm sorry, continue," he said when Martha looked at him.

"In each room you will find more information about that particular room and any ghostly inhabitants it might have. Use this information in your search for spirit. And that's it," she said, laying the piece of paper down on the table.

"I just hope there aren't a heap of narrow stairs in this place that I'll fall down and bust my bones on," Donna said.

They looked at the equipment. There was an infrared camera, a thermal imager and a device that measured temperature changes and a Geiger counter. The Doctor held back while the other four each grabbed a device. The Doctor watched Rose while she and the others used their torches to look around. When she walked off to the right, he followed her while the others dispersed to other rooms in the castle. Rose heard footsteps behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"Oh, it's you," she said to the Doctor.

"Yes, it's me. Sorry, I'm not a big slobbering ghoulie but it's just little ol' me. Where ya headed? I thought I might relieve my boredom by exploring with you. Besides, I am bereft of ghost hunting equipment. What do you have?"

"Um, I think I got the thing that picks up body heat," Rose said, looking it over.

"A thermal imaging detector is the proper name."

"Fine, a thermal imaging detector. I don't care what it is as long as it works."

"Why? You're not gonna find anything and…"

"BAAAAAH!"

The Doctor and Rose screamed when Jack suddenly jumped up behind them and yelled. He ran away laughing while Rose grabbed the Doctor's arm to prevent him from beating the life out of him.

"Harkness, if you do that again, you'll join the ghosts here!" the Doctor screamed.

"Calm down, Doctor, play along," Rose said, patting his arm.

"This is gonna be a long night, Rose. I have a feeling we made a huge mistake bringing Jack with us," he said to her while they walked into a room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"At last, they went away," the Master said as he opened the front door. "Now, I will have my revenge on the Doctor and…"

The Master stepped inside and realized that there were no lights on anywhere. He cursed softly since he failed to bring any torches with him. He looked around at the darkness and knew he'd have to go get a torch from somewhere. But when he turned to leave, the door suddenly slammed shut. The Master stood there in total darkness listening while they locked it. Then a minute later, all was silent.

"Um…okay," the Master said, standing in the pitch black of the castle, "this might be a bit problematic."

Meanwhile, Donna managed to make it to the second floor. She swung her flashlight around and found a room off to her left. She entered it and found a furnished bedroom. She swung the flashlight around the room and noticed a piece of paper on a wooden table by the door. She walked over, picked it up and held the light up to it while she read aloud.

"This room is one of the many bedrooms in Chillingham Castle. It is believed to be haunted by a lady in grey who may have occupied the room when she died."

She laid the piece of paper down and looked at her temperature gauge. The temperature was registering in the high 40's Farenheit and she shivered involuntarily in the chilly air. She sighed and swung her light around; the room had mostly wooden furniture including a four poster bed that had a blue canopy above it.

"Okay, lady in grey, where are ya? If you're in here, show yourself or do something," Donna said aloud.

She gasped and spun around when she heard a knocking through the wall by the door. She walked over and peeked outside but there was no one there.

"Okay," she said, sticking her head back inside. "Do that again, I dare ya."

She gasped when a second, louder knock came from the top of the table.

"Okay, um…"

Donna checked her temperature gauge and noticed the temperature had risen by five degrees in the room. She thought about that for a moment and then figured that she could be responsible for that. She lowered it and looked around the room.

"Alright, Grey Lady, show yourself then…unless you're a coward," Donna said, hoping to force the ghost to put in an appearance.

She looked around the room but didn't see anything. Then her eyes widened when she suddenly heard someone whisper "Bitch" in her left ear. She looked behind her and didn't see anything. She spun around again when someone whispered bitch in her right ear.

"Oi, I'm not a bitch, I just want to see you," Donna said aloud. "If anyone's a bitch it's you, so shut your gob, lady!"

"Bitch, bitch, you're a witch."

Donna heard the voice whispering in a sing song voice in her left ear. Donna smirked and decided to join in the taunting.

"Dead, dead, don't got no head," she taunted back.

"Who doesn't have a head?"

Donna turned and saw Jack standing at the door.

"The lady in grey who's being a wanker," Donna said.

"You're a wanker," the ghost said in her ear.

"No, you're a wanker," Donna yelled back.

"Um…Donna, you're arguing with a ghost," Jack said.

"Well, she's calling me a bitch and she doesn't even know me."

"Awww, poor baby," the ghost taunted in her ear.

"If you don't belt up, I'll find a way to kill you again, lady," Donna said.

Jack chuckled; he was about to turn and leave when he suddenly felt hands stroking his balls.

"Donna, I think the ghost's hands are on my balls," Jack said to her. "I would enjoy it except it's a dead person and despite what the Doctor thinks; I don't have sex with the dead. Sorry, lady, enjoy the afterlife."

He turned to go out but the ghost followed him, pinching his butt and stroking him while Jack shouted protests that he was only interested in flesh and blood people.

While that was happening the Doctor and Rose were exploring another bedroom where a small boy had been bricked up in the wall and left to die. After reading the piece of paper describing how the boy wore his fingers down to the bone and even tried to bite his way through the stone, Rose was creeped out. The Doctor took in stride though.

"Don't read anymore of those, Rose. They're trying to influence your mind and make you see and hear things. Now that you've read about the boy you're listening for any sign of him and now any random noise will make you think it's him. It's part of their scheme to make us panic and run about the castle screaming."

"And you're not buying that," Rose teased.

"Rose, there are no such thing as…"

He fell silent when they heard a loud scratching coming from within the wall. He shrugged when Rose gave him a pointed look.

"Mice, bats, castle creaking and settling," he said.

"There's stone behind here, Doctor," Rose said, patting the plaster wall. "Those must be some strong bats and mice."

"Oh, you'd be surprised. I…"

Again, the scratching came, louder this time. To keep from freaking out, Rose used her thermal imaging device to take some readings. She looked into it and raised an eyebrow when she scanned the room and got the Doctor in her sights.

"Blimey, I knew you had cold skin but not this cold," Rose said.

The Doctor walked over and glanced at the monitor while he held his hand in front of it.

"I have a much lower body temperature than you, Rose. I always have," he said.

"Yeah, but there's not much red and orange just a lot of blue with a bit of yellow."

"That's the way my people are made," he said with a shrug. "I…"

He trailed off when he noticed the air was suddenly heating up near his hand and the heated air was taking the shape of a child. Rose and the Doctor exchanged a look and shined their flashlights in front of them but they couldn't see anything. Rose looked back at the monitor and noticed the heated air definitely had a human shape to it. The Doctor looked at it and then stepped completely in front of the monitor. Rose watched while he stepped over to the heated air and put his hand in it.

"Hmmm, the air does feel warmer here, interesting," he said.

"Doctor, the thing is moving around you," Rose said as she stared at the monitor.

She watched with awe while the child sized thing wrapped itself around the Doctor and heated up his colder body heat.

"I feel warm and comfy now," the Doctor said.

"That's because it's surrounding ya," Rose said to him.

"Oh, well, thank you if you're the little boy," the Doctor said.

Rose jerked her head up when she heard the sound of a boy laughing near the Doctor. She noticed the shocked look on the Doctor's face and he looked around him.

"See, perhaps there is something to this ghost thing after all, Doctor," Rose said.

"Um, yes. Well, I always say I travel so I can be proven wrong. I just hope the chap is friendly. But now that we've looked in here, let's move on, shall we?"

"Lead the way," Rose said.

As the Doctor used his flashlight to go towards the door, Rose noticed that he was still surrounded by the warm air and she smiled at that while she followed him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Master stiffened when he noticed a beam of light was coming from a doorway off to his right. He stepped back towards the locked front door and grinned when he saw the Doctor and Rose enter the room. He made sure his hood was pulled up over his blonde hair and stood still while the Doctor shined his flashlight at the staircase.

"Shall we go up then?" the Doctor said, looking back at Rose.

"Nah, Jack and Donna went up, we should go down," Rose said.

"Well, where did Martha go then?" the Doctor said.

"I don't know, I'm just thinking that since Jack and Donna went upstairs, they have it covered and we should go downstairs."

"How about we go up and up and up until we reach the tippy top?" the Doctor said.

"Why?" Rose said, frowning.

"Because I want to see if any ghosts committed suicide," the Doctor said. "You know…lovers who couldn't be together who flung themselves off the ramparts onto the rocks below. That whole sort of I can't live without you thing. I figure it might be interesting to see some suicidal ghosts, eh?"

"Doctor, it's cold up there."

"It's cold in here or haven't you noticed," the Doctor said. "What's the difference? Unless you wanna dare start a fire in one of the fireplaces? Perhaps the ghosts will be a lot less hostile if they're warm."

Rose was about to answer when suddenly they heard a scream coming from below them.

"Bloody hell!" they heard Martha yell.

"On the other hand, downstairs is good. Come on, Rose!" the Doctor said to her.

The Master kept to the shadows and followed them while the Doctor and Rose ran to the stairs and went down.

"Christ, get out of here!" Martha was yelling as the Doctor and Rose went downstairs.

"Martha, we're coming!" the Doctor yelled while they headed downstairs.

The Master gasped when his foot hit a step in the dark and he nearly tripped. He stopped, his arms splayed out against the stone wall while he watched the Doctor and Rose head on down the steps. The light went with them and the Master cursed softly when he was once again plunged into total darkness.

"Martha! Where are you?" the Doctor said when he and Rose reached the basement.

"In here, with the ruddy bats!" Martha yelled.

They followed her voice and turned to the right. They walked into a little room and ducked when squeaking bats threatened to smack into them. Martha was crouched on the stone floor, pointing her torch up at them while the bats flapped overhead.

"I came in here to check out the room," Martha said to the Doctor. "And the moment I do, these bats woke up and started flying around my head."

"No worries, I'll handle this," the Doctor said, whipping out his sonic screwdriver.

He was about to use it when Rose tapped him on the shoulder. He looked over his shoulder at her and she pointed at the camera aimed at his face. The Doctor gave her a confused look, looked at his camera and then looked back at her with a questioning look. Rose gave him a withering look.

"Alien tech," she mouthed to him. "You have a camera on ya."

The Doctor looked at his camera and held up the sonic screwdriver.

"I happen to know a friend who is an amateur ghost…finder…person and this is a tool he uses to search for ghosts," he said to the camera. "It's nothing more than that so don't infer anything else from my use of it."

He looked at Rose.

"Feel better now?" he said to her.

"It's your screwdriver," Rose said with a shrug. "You wanna show it to the people watching the telly, go right ahead."

"Thank you and now, my dear Martha; I will rid us of these pesky bats once and for all!"

He turned on the screwdriver and Rose gasped when the bats zeroed in on the sonic noise and began to swarm them. Martha gave the Doctor several sarcastic claps when the Doctor waved his arms around, trying to beat off the bats that were now swarming around him and the screwdriver.

"Get off me, you winged menaces!" the Doctor said. "BOOOOWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH!" he screamed as he batted at the bats.

Rose crawled away when the bats began to fly away from him and head out the doorway. Finally, after a few minutes, the Doctor finally managed to get the bats to leave and he breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down on the floor.

"Well, that was a hell of a lot more interesting than finding ghosts," he said to Rose and Martha.

"Are you okay?" Martha said, walking over to him and shining his flashlight on him.

"Oh yeah, nothing a rabies shot won't cure. I'm joking, I'm joking!" he added quickly when he saw the horrified look on Martha's face. "They didn't bite me, just swarmed around my face. Anyway…" he said, getting to his feet. "What's in here besides pesky flying rats?"

"Nothing," Martha said with a shrug.

"Oh come now, gotta be something in here. After all, the purpose of this little adventure is to scare us out of our little cotton socks, right?" the Doctor said.

"Well, I tried my Geiger counter thing in here and wait…" Martha said when she held it up and it started making a staticky sound. "Odd, that didn't happen before."

"It's because this ghost is following the Doctor," Rose said, pointing to her thermal imager. "It's hanging on to him, see?"

"It is? I wondered what I still felt warm and comfy," the Doctor said when Martha came over to look at the imager. "Perhaps the boy was responsible for fending off the bats and preventing them from biting me. If so, mucho thanks, little boy and…"

"AAARGH!"

The three of them froze when they heard a man yelling outside the room.

The Master clamped his hand over his mouth. He had just succeeded in navigating his way down the steps in the dark but the moment he hit bottom, he ran into some bats and let out a surprised yell. He stumbled back up the steps the moment the Doctor, Rose and Martha stepped out and shined their torches around.

"I heard a man yell, didn't you?" Rose said to Martha while they shined their torch lights around.

"Yup, clear as a bell. But I don't see anything," Martha said.

"And what does the skeptic think?" Rose said to the Doctor.

"I think the bats did it," the Doctor said. "I think one flew into another one in the dark and scared the poor blighter, I'm sure the rodents have a surprised yell in their repertoire."

"So you accept that a boy ghost is keeping you warm but you can't accept that something just yelled out here," Rose said.

"I'm not accepting anything," the Doctor said. "I'm just playing along for shits and giggles. You ever stop to think that perhaps it's one of Robson's cronies that has been paid to scream through a hidden microphone? Ever think of that, huh, huh?" he said, poking Rose in the arm.

"Well, why don't you scan for the hidden microphones with your…ghost finder thing?" Rose said.

"Because I don't want to spoil the techies' fun. I'm sure they're bored watching us and probably need to scare us on occasion to stay awake. Anyway, mustn't disappoint them so let's move on to another room so they can fake haunt us there. Come along, I think there's another room across the way. Onward, companions."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Rose muttered as she and Martha followed him past the staircase and into another room.


End file.
